Creed's Thoughts

August 7, 2008

We're having a party at work tomorrow to celebrate "08/08/08 Day," which is great because i'll be able to eat enough that I won't have to buy food for a week. That's my favorite part about work parties - they end up saving me a lot of moolah in the long run. I wish they were more fun, though. If was in charge, we'd be rocking and rolling all night. My parties would go down in history as the best work parties of all time. Here's a rundown of my perfect party:

We'd start out with a bang, and by that I mean i'd fire off a starter's pistol so people knew the party actually started. The very first event of the party would be bobbing for Creed Shots. I'd fill a large kiddie pool with Creed Juice - a mixture of kool-aid, Pop Rocks, and grain alcohol - and throw some shot glasses in there. Then everyone has to lean in, grab a shot glass with their mouths, and take the shot. It's messy but it sure gets things stared right. If you're not drunk after Bobbing for Creed Sots, you're not playing right.

So after everyone's good and sauced up, i'd break out the pinatas. The key to pinatas at parties is naming them. If you name them after co-workers, you know people are going to really get into it. I'm not so great with names, so i'd let somebody else do the naming, but trust me, they would all be named. As for filling them, that all depends on the budget. If there's no dinero for the pinatas, then i'd fill them with dry rice. If there's a little cash around, then i'd go for hard candy. With hard candy, you get the fun of seeing the pinata burst AND the injuries that go with it.

After pinata time, we'd go straight into the eating contests. I'm partial to deviled eggs for quantity, but I know hot dogs are pretty popular these days, too. I'd compromise and make hot dog omeletes for everyone to scarf down. I'm pretty sure I kno who'd win, but you can never tell - sometimes the smallest accountants make the biggest eaters.

When the party dies down, i'd do another round of Bobbing for Creed Shots and then send people on their way with Goody Bags. The bags would just be filled with office supplies, but hey, everyone likes a party gift, right?

They should really make me head of the party committee thing. I'd be amazing.

August 3, 2008

I want to say I was about four years old when I fell in love with music. My memory’s not great, so it could have been anywhere between four and fourteen, but I think it was closer to four. I was hanging out in an old abandoned car factory in South Carolina and I came across a bunch of old bumpers lying on the ground. At that age, I used to walk around with a bunch of sticks in my back pocket in case I ever needed something to throw. When I saw those bumpers, I don’t know what came over me, but I knew that I had to take out a pair of sticks and start banging away.

From the instant my sticks hit that metal, I was hooked. I pounded out beat after beat, dancing and singing along. I loved it. The music jumped into my body like a venereal disease from a hooker. I stayed in that factory for hours and hours just banging away. The next day, I came back and started right up where I left off. I made up songs about everything: jump ropes, corn, beaver skin hats. Nothing was off limits.

About a week later, I saw an old man playing a beat-up guitar on the street. I watched him for a while, trying to learn what he was doing as I stood there. After about an hour, he said he had to go to the can and asked me to watch his instrument. I gladly agreed. When he left to go to the bathroom, I snatched the guitar and ran all the way to the factory. It was the first thing I had ever stolen and on that day, I said to myself “Music and thieving are going to be the biggest things in your life” and you know what? They still are.

has been a part of me ever since. Not a day goes by where I don’t tap out a rhythm or pick up my axe and play a lick or two. If you cut open my veins, I’m fairly certain that quarter notes would come tumbling out. I can’t imagine my life without music and I don’t want to.